WHAT IS FACEBOOK?
Facebook is an enormous, free social networking site with hundreds of millions of users all over the world. To use Facebook, you sign up with your email address, name, gender, date of birth, and password. That gives you a profile page, which you can then fill in by answering questions on Facebook’s forms. The questions are designed to help you create connections with people (like kids from your high school) — called “Friends” — as well as display things you like, for example, books and movies. You also have the option to upload a photo of yourself.
Facebook is not supposed to be used by people under 13, however, it’s not difficult to create a page if you are. (If Facebook discovers a user under 13, they will delete the profile.)
In addition to displaying your profile information and likes, Facebook allows you do lots of other things, like write “status updates” that tell others what you’re doing, play games, chat with others, comment on other people’s pages (called their “wall”), and more. You don’t need a computer to be on Facebook. You can view and update your page remotely from your phone or another mobile device. Programs called location-sharing applications also allow you to post your actual, physical location to your Facebook page.
WHY IT MATTERS
A lot of parents hear stories about teens misusing Facebook and get concerned that their teen could get caught up in problems stemming from Facebook drama. But the important thing for parents to know is that it’s not the site that’s a problem. It’s the way it’s used. That’s why it’s so important to talk to all kids about responsible online behavior.
If used responsibly, Facebook can be a useful, fun tool for teens to stay in touch with friends (and, in fact, it’s nearly impossible for some teens to avoid it!), but teens can be cruel and will use any tool at their disposal to be so. That said, there are still safety and privacy issues to be aware of. Facebook can open teens up to unwanted comments from both friends and non-friends, it can spark feuds that drag on and can carry over into real life, it can become an obsession to the point where teens fret about their online status, and perhaps the thorniest of all, it can expose photos, thoughts, and feelings that, once posted, are out of your teen’s control.
Teens using Facebook are creating a digital footprint that can live a long time online. And because teens can be impulsive, they are liable to say and do things on Facebook that they may later regret. It’s easy enough for your teen’s friends to forward along anything that’s posted on your teen’s page — including instant-message conversations. What seemed important or funny in the moment can get teens into personal — and later, professional — trouble.
PRIVACY ISSUES
On Facebook, your name and profile photo (if you have one) are always publicly viewable. That means other Facebook users can see your name and photo when they land on your page. You can limit who sees all of your other information, as well as who can write on your page by using Facebook’s privacy settings. With Facebook’s privacy settings, you can set your viewable information to Everyone, Friends of Friends, Friends Only, or even a customizable setting that only allows you to see it. (Privacy settings control other things, too, which our video explains.)
If your teen has a Facebook page, sit down with them and review their privacy settings. But beyond that, discuss the importance of controlling your own information. Once your teen posts something, it’s out of his or her control and can be copied, pasted, or forwarded by other people.
By creating your own page and familiarizing yourself with Facebook’s controls, you can help your teen to use it responsibly and respectfully. Our tips can help you navigate this new territory.
PARENT TIPS FOR TEENS
Talk to kids about controlling their information. Encourage them to be selective about what they post. But it’s not just what you post that can get away from you. Activities you do on Facebook, like the applications and games you play, can be viewable by others.
Use privacy settings. Facebook’s default settings tend to keep information public until you make it private (although they are a little stricter with minors’ accounts). Review the settings with your teen, and make sure they are set to “Friends Only.” Check our tips to streamline this process.
Set rules about what’s appropriate to post. No sexy photos, no drinking photos, no photos of them doing something that could come back to haunt them. Remind them that once they post something, it’s out of their hands.
Watch out for ads. Believe it or not, there are tons of ads on Facebook, and most major companies have profile pages. Marketers actively use Facebook to target advertising to your teen.
Encourage teens to self-reflect before they self-reveal. Teens are very much in the moment and are very likely to post something they really didn’t mean. Work with them on curbing that impulse.
It’s OK to leave profile questions blank. The only information you have to input is your name, email address, password, gender, and date of birth. You don’t have to display your gender and date of birth and you can choose not to input any other information in your profile — like relationship status and address. Advise your kids to leave private information blank or choose not to display it.
SHOULD YOU FRIEND YOUR KID ON FACEBOOK?
Use the tips below and if you decide to friend your teen.
Start with your teen’s age. If they’re in middle school, it may be a sound policy to know what they’re posting, since kids that age don’t necessarily understand that they’re creating a digital footprint that will long outlast the passions of the moment.
Talk to your high school-aged teens about whether or not they’re comfortable letting you friend them. Many will be. This is a case of “know your kid,” and it comes down to trust. But establish rules: No drug talk, no nudity, no pictures of drinking, no hate speech, no bullying, and no posting party locations — all of these lead to ruin. Most of all, remind your teens that whatever they post will be in the cyberworld forever. (Keep watching Facebook’s Terms of Service, by the way, since a recent — and almost as recently recanted — update said that the company owned everything anyone posted forever.)
Don’t fill your kids’ pages with your comments. As it is, simply having parents is mortifying enough at this age. Their friends don’t need evidence of your existence (and you can always send them private messages).
Don’t friend your kids’ friends. See reasons above.
Remember: They can see what you post. If you’re a friend, also be a role model. Keep your nose clean.
Choose your battles. You will see the good, the bad, and the truly unfathomable. If you don’t want your kids to unfriend you, don’t comment on every transgression. Keep it general.
Remember, you’re the parent. Even if you aren’t your kids’ Facebook “friend,” your job is still to pass your values along to them and to help them learn how to be safe and responsible on or offline.
source: common sense
