Aaberg, Justin Norman Age 15 of Andover, formerly of Ramsey, passed away unexpectedly July 9, 2010. Preceded in death by grandmother, Jean Aaberg. He will be missed by his parents, Shawn and Tammy; brothers, Andrew and Anthony; grandparents, Curtis Aaberg; Gail and Walter Johnson; aunts, uncles, cousins and many friends. Justin attended Anoka High School and played cello in the concert orchestra
Justin is one of 5 Anoka-Hennepin students who took their own life in the past year. Now, we ask ourselves what drives a 15-year-old to take their own life? What could be tormenting him so deeply inside that he would end his own life? What made this handsome, talented, smart young man to feel the only way to escape and end the torment was to end his life?
Justin ‘came out’ as gay when he was 13 years old. In the weeks since she found her son dead in his room on July 9, Justin’s mom has heard from many of her son’s friends at Anoka High School. They told her Justin had been bullied. There it is, that nasty word: BULLY. Haven’t we had enough? Too often we are hearing and reading about our youth taking their lives as a result of bullying. Far too often people write off bullying behavior as “normal everyday kid stuff” a sort of “right of passage” through youth. This is not the case. As adults, this wouldn’t be tolerated. Why do we allow it to continue in our schools and to our children.
If your children are telling you they are being bullied, harassed, assaulted at school. Listen to them. If they aren’t telling you, but they are showing signs of depression, harassment, not wanting to go to school, etc. Look into it. Talk to your kids. Talk to your kids teachers. Talk to their friends. Be a welcoming person for your child and their friends to come to.
If you believe your child is harassing or bullying others, sit them down and share these stories with them. Make sure they understand the consequences of their behaviors.
Please, have these open and honest discussions with the kids in your life. You just may save a life.
Justin Aaberg Memorial Video
Bullying in Schools: Harassment Puts Gay Youth at Risk
While trying to deal with all the challenges of being a teenager, gay/ lesbian/ bisexual/ transgender (GBLT) teens additionally have to deal with harassment, threats, and violence directed at them on a daily basis. They hear anti-gay slurs such as “homo”, “faggot” and “sissy” about 26 times a day or once every 14 minutes. Even more troubling, a study found that thirty-one percent of gay youth had been threatened or injured at school in the last year alone!
Their mental health and education, not to mention their physical well-being, are at-risk.
How is their mental health being affected?
- Gay and lesbian teens are at high risk because ‘their distress is a direct result of the hatred and prejudice that surround them,’ not because of their inherently gay or lesbian identity orientation.
- Gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth are two to three times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual counterparts.
How is their education being affected?
- Gay teens in U.S. schools are often subjected to such intense bullying that they’re unable to receive an adequate education. They’re often embarrassed or ashamed of being targeted and may not report the abuse.
- GLBT students are more apt to skip school due to the fear, threats, and property vandalism directed at them. One survey revealed that 22 percent of gay respondents had skipped school in the past month because they felt unsafe there.
- Twenty-eight percent of gay students will drop out of school. This is more than three times the national average for heterosexual students.
- GLBT youth feel they have nowhere to turn. According to several surveys, four out of five gay and lesbian students say they don’t know one supportive adult at school.
What can we do to help?
Schools should offer a safe and respectful learning environment for everyone. When bullying is allowed to take place, it affects everyone. For every GLBT youth who reported being targeted for anti-gay harassment, four heterosexual youth reported harassment or violence for being perceived as gay or lesbian. Also, we know that bullying was a contributing factor in the Columbine shootings and other school violence. Students, teachers, and school administrators who look the other way are contributing to the problem. In contrast, kids who said that they had a supportive faculty or openly gay staff member were more likely to feel as if they belong in their school.
Help end bullying at your school with the following actions:
- Be alert to signs of distress.
- Work with student councils to have programs on respect, school safety, and anti-bullying.
- Ask school personnel to have a discussion at an assembly or an after school activity about gay prejudice.
- Help start a Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) chapter at your local high school. Youth whose schools had these kinds of groups were less likely to have reported feeling unsafe in their schools.
- Arrange for a group like GLSEN to present bullying prevention activities and programs at your school.
- Do encourage anyone who’s being bullied to tell a teacher, counselor, coach, nurse, or his or her parents or guardians. If the bullying continues, report it yourself.
For More Information:
For help finding treatment, support groups, medication information, help paying for your medications, your local Mental Health America affiliate, and other mental health-related services in your community, please go to www.nmha.org. If you or someone you know is in crisis now, seek help immediately. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to reach a 24 hour crisis center or dial 911 for immediate assistance.
Source: Mental Health America
